Hello!
I have been sick for quite a few days so the fun facts in this email might as well consist of facts I have dreamed or types of medicine I wish existed on my bedside or pollution that shouldn't be in the air. But we are really enjoying ourselves and we hope you all have too.
Diane will be writing more realistic thoughts and narratives so I'll offer my special insights from the last bit of our trip:
1. When bananas go bad inside a plastic bag they sweat and then smell like vinegar.
2. (riddle) if you wash a pesticide-covered kiwi in unpotable tap water, does it help?
3. There is a nursery-sized area in one of the gardens near our city completely full of banzai trees that look older than the United States. I've never seen a single banzai as incredible as any one of the thousands in this garden.
4. Weirdly small amounts of Chinese food can make you dream hungrily of American food, like sandwiches.
5. There are poodles on the street here. They sit with their back legs out behind them.
6. My theory is that Japanese culture borrowed and never returned Chinese manners, so now people kind of slip in front of you in line without any words to express that they are cutting you. Japan is way different, I think, to the point where you can use to much silibance when calling an honored guest "sir" and have to never show them your back or fall on your sword or something. Anyway, there are more manners in Japan.
7. I miss biscuits.
8. And sandwiches.
9. Despite the water here being called "hard" by our tourguides (read: polluted and poisonous,) Diane's hair looks great!
10. The Chinese Internet is like a hairless sled dog puppy. In theory, it is a sled dog, but practically, it can't do anything except ween.
11. If you build a pure white building downtown anywhere in China it will turn brown like a snowdrift.
12. Just because the car alarms are cuter sounding doesn't mean they still don't go off in front of the hotel at 4 in the morning when somebody drives a scooter somewhere nearby (which happens litterally all the time)
13. Just because I have five finger shoes doesn't mean I can magically understand Chinese when people ask me about them
14. If you go to the Ei Sen Club, try not to get pulled up onto the speaker by a very happy Chinese man just in time to dance to Ke$ha and a 9 minute Happy Birthday remix.
15. Be careful when purchasing playing cards that they are not cigarettes.
16. Signing autographs for Chinese students feels like sinning, but I'm not sure?
17. (riddle) Yesterday, we decorated masks (?) with Chinese students from the university, and I wrote YOUTUBE down the bridge of the nose. Is that okay?
18. Pork buns are delicious if you know the symbol for pork and can point to it on a menu.
19. The difference between "yes" and "poop" is whether or not you raise your voice a little at the end. Don't raise your voice at the end.
20. I finished Anathem.
21. I have a nice video of our friend singing along and dancing to The Kings Garden.
22. As I write this, a cute car alarm is going off.
23. Wild kittens sort of bark.
Love,
R+D
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